McDonald's

So I fully expected this to be college. I fully expected lots of drinking, weekend parties, etc. I didn't, however, expect the constant drinking. And I have now learned, from many Scots, that I was supposed to have a stereotype in my head that the whole country is "drunken louts."  (Woops, missed the memo). They're a fun group though!

The pinnacle of drinking stories I have yet experienced: after the first day here at Aberdeen I met four other Americans at an International student orientation. The five of us walked around Aberdeen one night. And what are five Americans going to do when they're in a group in a foreign country? Go to McDonald's, of course. So we walked in, trying to spot the differences in the menus. What we didn't yet realize was the key difference was in the atmosphere, not the processed food.

We ordered our Mars bar milkshakes, potato wedges, and Smartie McFlurrys and we sat down at a table. The interior is quite more "posh" looking than American McDonalds. There were white leather benches and leather circular stools. As we ate, we people watched as everyone went toward a foam party at a local club. I then saw a mime walk by. Then the mime turned around and walked into the McDonald's. All five of us turned our head in wonder. Then, said mime began to zig-zag toward the front of the restaurant. He made it about half way there and then he started to ever so slowly leaannn to the right.. Our heads followed the motion. Then he sat down. The Indian man at the cash register was staring, not amused. The three of us, with our backs to the mime, slowly scooted around in our seats, trying not to be too conspicous. Then one of the girls pulled out her camera.

The mime by this point had put his head on the table and was moaning a bit. He then sat up quickly and then he began to slide down the leather booth toward the metal table leg. Then he sat up, hitting the table, and grumbled a bit. He began to slide to the right and then extended his arm to cushion his head and closed his eyes.

A group of "fresher" boys was sitting in front of me and the other Americans. They had front row seats as the mime was performing right in front of them. They were watching this whole site unfold, half-concerned, half-amused, just as we were.

Then the weight of the mime's legs began to drag him back toward the floor, and it was a losing battle. He crashed down into the metal table stems. And he laid there for a minute but then seemed to realize he wasn't supposed to be there so he sat up, hitting his head on the table and he then began to crawl out from under the tables. At this point the managers were beginning to come out.

The teenage boys helped him back to the booth, but he fell down again, so they finally just got a chair out for him and sat him on it. The managers were asking his name and other questions, but he didn't seem to be able to answer any of them. He then started to get angry at the managers and they had to step back.

The fresher boys turned slightly toward us so we asked, "Do you have a law against public drunkeness?" The boys looked a bit confused. Then one snapped his fingers and said, "Oh yeah, we have a law against drunk and disorderly conduct. But you have to be disorderly. Drunk and disorderly."
The five of us looked up at the mime, now belligerently mumbling at the managers. "Oh, ok," we replied. One of us then asked, "Is this normal here, at McDonald's?" And one of the boys said, "Not really, usually people are just having sex." A few of us responded in shocked unison, "In the McDonald's?" We all started looking around questioning where that would even happen. There was a sketchy staircase in the corner. The boys nodded in response to our shock.

The paramedics had arrived by this point. They were also unsuccessfully asking the mime his name. Other customers were also flowing in and out of the McDonald's trying not to look as interested as they were. They stole side glances from the menu to the mime. Then it happened, what we all knew was coming. The vomit.  And that was our cue. The five of us grabbed our trash and headed for the door.

Needless to say, I haven't been back to McDonald's.