Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah

If anyone knows the song to which the title refers, you would think this is going to be quite a pathetic post. But this has post has no Joe Spivies with poison ivy (as the song), rather just some brief moments to praise my situation. And as I am convinced it is probably only my mom and dad who actually read this (thanks, guys), I hope to set both your minds at ease a bit.

I skyped with a friend yesterday morning who is currently an au pair in France. She was telling me about her travel plans and we were speaking about her possibly coming to Scotland and me possibly meeting her in Switzerland.. and amidst all this it dawned on me -- for the first time in too long -- "I'm living in SCOTLAND."

What an opportunity. I'm living in Scotland. This is not an everyday occurrence. This is not even an everyday opportunity. I have been extremely fortunate to have the opportunity to sit here right now, typing on my computer in Edinburgh, Scotland, while studying for my Master's degree.

I'm a bit of a pessimist. (A bit may be understating the matter). I Always see the empty half of the glass. Even if the glass isn't half empty, I pour some water out! I'm telling you, I am an extreme pessimist. I think I always saw positive speech as bragging or arrogance. But that has left me with the unfortunate habit of always seeing the negative.

This country - despite it's wind, rain, and snow - is beautiful and a place I am most fortunate to call home this year. A thank you to everyone who helped get me here and has supported me as I've been here. I love you all and cannot wait to share home with you once again.

I'll work on the stories again on this blog. I've lost my story-telling mind for the past few weeks. Gearing it up for some more adventures though.

"Muddah, Faddah Kindly disregard my letter"




(For those who don't know the song, it goes, "hello mada, hello fada, here I am at, camp grenada. Camp is very... entertaining... and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining." It goes on to say a number of things that have gone horribly for this letter writer. In the middle of the letter he pleads to come home. However, at the end the sun comes out, and he closes saying, "mada, fada kindly disregard this letter").

Original Hello Muddah..

Nothing brings people together like a power outage

The power went out in our building last night. Not on the block. Just in our building.

This is the second time this has happened. The first time it took about five hours to fix. This time it thankfully only took two. And you know, it was a bit of an inconvenience, especially since it had been snowing all day. But a friend of mine in the building invited me down to hers and I met two of her hall mates. We ranted about the power and other eccentricities of our living situation and had lots of laughs by the light of the emergency hall lights. I walked into our common room on the way back to my room and found people drinking beer and playing pool - it looked similar to a hurricane party. 

The power quickly came back on thanks to our diligent wardens. However, the heating didn't turn on all night. This morning, I walked into my kitchen to find one of my hallmates warming her hands by the oven. Soon, the rest of my hall mates and I gathered around the stove like mosquitoes to a lamp. We found ourselves laughing as we boiled as much water as we could and warmed our hands by the fan oven.

Things go wrong, but that doesn't mean things are bad. It's amazing how good life can be when it's simple. We get so used to our little luxuries and our routines, but life goes on without them. And in fact, sometimes not having them brings us together.

Many people make arguments that cell phones, video games, tv shows, the internet, etc., have all separated us from each other. They say this technology is robbing us of intimacy and real relationships. Now I like all of these things I listed above; and I quite enjoy having them. But it's good to remember they're best in moderation.

Last semester I felt lonely a lot. I was skyping friends almost every day of the week, but when I turned my computer off, I found it was just me and that loneliness had been diminished only very little. I am incredibly grateful for technological advances, and that I can keep up with friends and keep those relationships going. But I think we cannot lose sight of the world around us and we certainly cannot replace it.

I always wonder what this means for our relationships with God. He is always with us but sometimes it feels like he is never there. We are not with him, not now. I used to feel like my relationship with God was a long distance relationship, just waiting till the day I get to Heaven and am with Him. Biding the meantime reading his words, and saying words in response.

But then, the Bible does say God is always there.  And more and more, I think our relationship with God is not a long distance relationship at all. Yes, it is different than any relationship we know between man, but it is not long distance. God says, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you' (Hebrews 13:5). It sounds a bit new-agey, but I think God is that happiness from gathering together warming your hands by a stove; He is that relationship formed when all luxuries are gone. God's voice is described as a whisper. I think he is found, he is realized the most in those moments when we step away from all that our own hands have made and enjoy the simple things of life -- life as he created it.

Now, I'm not about to go join a convent myself. And I type this all on my beautiful computer with wireless internet. But just thinking out loud here.

To conclude, heating is back on, power is back on, my computer is back on (clearly) and I have work to do.

Home again, home again

I spent just over three weeks at home for the holidays. I spent one week of this writing, one week crying, but one wonderful week celebrating and being with my family.

Doubt overwhelmed me as I sat at home comfortable, loved, and not lonely. I wondered what in the world I was doing in Scotland. But I was not left to sit and 'wallow' in this. There were constant reminders through devotions, people, sermons, etc., that this was no mistake. Almost everything I read spoke of trusting God.

I have such a hard time doing that. I can say I trust God, but actually trusting him, not freaking out, trusting that when I feel like I'm going to hit rock bottom, I actually won't. Those aren't natural for me. But that's exactly what I'm called to.

So here I am again. Having trouble 'rallying,' for round 2 of the cold and lonely. But I trust this is not the end. God did not open this door for me to sit in fear and regret. He did not open this door to trick me or to test me. He opened this door because he knows more than I do and he knows the end of this path. I trust in that. It most likely will not be what I would have planned or expected. And from the looks and feel of it, it's not going to be easy getting there. But I trust in the end, it will be good.